The one where I terrorize the neighborhood children

I really need to take pictures, and I probably will, but I’ve been using a product called Baby Foot that many are already familiar with. And yes, I should have used this back in May, but whatever…

I used this on Monday or Tuesday of last week. I can’t remember which day exactly, and yesterday was the day my feet finally started, um, showing signs that I’ve used it. Today, my daughter has one of her friends over, and I’m so tempted to start soaking my feet and unleash the horror. (I won’t spoil anything just now for those of you unfamiliar with what is going to be seen. I’ll let you Google it.)

Yes, I’m evil. Like… mustache-twirling Tom Hiddleston evil.

And yes, I’ll be doing a review.

Now that you’re all thoroughly grossed out, here’s the hamburger recipe I promised yesterday:

  • 1 lb ground beef (I prefer a 80/20 mix)
  • 1 lb ground lamb (or pork if lamb is hard to find)
  • 4 sprigs fresh oregano
  • 4 sprigs fresh mint
  • 4 scallions
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
  • 1/4 cup dijon mustard
  • feta cheese, optional

There are a couple of different ways to go about this. Essentially, you’ll be chopping up all the herbs and adding them to the mix. (Remove and discard the scallion roots, of course). You can either add the feta (as much as you like) to the mix OR (my favorite) stuff the burgers with it. You can also use a different cheese if you like, as long as it’s crumbled or shredded. We’ve used blue cheese, cheddar, colby, smoked gouda, and mozzarella. To stuff burgers, you basically separate a patty into two smaller patties. Put a small amount of cheese in the center of one, cover with the other, and seal the ends. Voila! Stuffed burgers! The oils from the cheeses also help to make a juicier burger. Don’t forget to put a thumbprint in the center of each patty to avoid them puffing up like tennis balls during cooking. Makes 8 quarter-pound burgers.